Just speaking up here to say that I went to both an individual counselor during my treatment and my husband and I ended up going to couples counseling together after treatment. In both cases it did me/us a world of good. The individual counselor is someone who had experience counsleing people who are dealing with serious illnesses. I think it is best if you can find someone with that experience. My entire work with her was very focused on helping me find the strength to make it through the treatments for two kinds of cancer at basically the same time and she has also helped me with the recovery since. Because I had her, I really didn't do a lot fo emotional leaning on my husband in terms of mood swings, etc. compared to what I read about in here.

That was probably fortunate because it turns out my husband has his own issues in terms of dealing with sick people and that is what lead us into couples counseling. That counseling has helped us enormously, in fact I don't know if our marriage would have survived my big health crisis without it. But then, I think our couples counselor is also quite a find--I have been to bad couples counseling before (in a previous marriage) and it was worse than not going to counseling at all.

You absolutely have the right to reject a counselor when you don't think they are being helpful or giving you what you need. With your husband going through so much else, it may be up to you to make the waves it takes to change things in this department.

Nelie