Yes, many of us have been to counseling and it definitely helped. It's a neutral third party who can help you clarify your feelings. The biggest thing I worked on was making a list of what I could control and what I couldn't. It sounds like you are already aware of the need to keep your connection to each other and that's a great first step.
Regards JoAnne

JoAnne - Caregiver to husband, cancer rt. tonsil, mets to soft palate, BOT, 7 lymph nodes - T3N2BM0, stage 4. Robotic assisted surgery, radical neck dissection 2/06; 30 IMTX treatments and 4 cycles of cisplatin completed June 06.