Minnea. I think you just hit the nail on the head. I needed to be told that because somrwhere inside I've been fooling myself in thinking things could be the same "if this" or "if that". But there are no ifs about this and thank you for putting that down on paper for me so that I can see things more clearly. Sometimes you need, or at least I need, someone to spell things out that maybe deep down you know but hearing someone say it helps me to know that this is how it has to be. And we need to repair our marraige so that I can help Stephen accept his new normal. We have not been there for each other and I know he still needs my support to continue his recovery. We both need some individual therapy as well as marital counseling but you just laid out our goal.... Leave the past behind and try to start anew...
With sincerest thanks...