Kerry- Only you can fix your attitude. You can support Stephen but you can't make him do anything. Even with professional help which unfortunately many men( including my husband Gil refuse to accept) it is no instant fix.Life can be sumed up with platitudes because they are true but you have to decide to make life worth living.
Gil has been unable to eat normally since he strated radiation and finished treatment. It is now going on 15 months. The radiation caused scarring which totally covered his esopaghus. Multiple surgeries and weekly dilations to open it up have allowed him to eat very soft foods i.e. it takes him an hour to eat a small piece of meat loaf and mashed potatoes. He is very fustrated and sad but refuses to talk.he refuses to go any where with anyone ,after gaging and vomiting when out. I can't walk in his steps. I understand why he has isolated himself but I can't live life that way.I love him for ever and you are right- it was easier when we were actively caretaking.
So what do I do- I walk, stay with him and love him but treat myself to outings either with friends or by myself- to get out of the house and frankly- away from his gloom .