Hello to all....It's been along time since I've posted. My husband Stephen finished his treatment in May 2006 and his first scans were clear, haven't had the six month scans yet. We are very grateful for his clear scans but our lives have been turned upside down. I do not know what has hit me since his diagnosis on February 28th 2006, ironically my birthday...We have had to move away from all our friends because Stephen had to find a new job and he has been so down because he still cannot taste any food, he has no saliva at all, even with the evovac. He is so thin and although he is very fortunate to be able to swallow at all, I think he is so depressed about not being able to enjoy eating. He was never a very big eater and always very thin but he used to enjoy his buffalo wings and cheeseburgers very much. Will his taste come back any more? Its been about 8 months since his last treatment. Will my husband ever be the same again. Theres very little joy left in our lives, with the exception of our two beautiful children, 4 and 6 year old son and daughter, who keep us going. They are about the only thing that puts a smile on our faces these days. I know we should be grateful he is alive and we are..but how do we pick up the pieces. It was so much easier for me to be strong when I was taking care of him and i had something I could do about it. Now I feel like I'm just left with these shatterd pieces of what was our lives. I hate where we live, I don't want new friends... I just want my old life back. I know I need to get a grip and start being thankful for what we do have. The funny part is that I was so strong and positve and thankful for what we had and I knew how it could have turned out but I find as time is passing and the reality of what has happened to us,to my husband, is setting in, I'm getting angry and resentful. I did not have these feeling when Stephen was sick. It is causing alot of problems in our marriage Will life ever feel happy again for us???