Hi Kerry,

Believe me when I tell you that you nor your husband will move on until both of you face the fact that your old lives are NEVER coming back. The toughest stage of recovery for me was accepting that. I would be overwhelmed with feelings of homesickness, that was the only word I could think of to describe how I felt. I missed my old self and my old life so desperately. It made it impossible for me to learn to love my new self and my new life. And that is truly what we all have to do, in particular the ones of us that suffer more severe side effects that are permanent.

Say goodbye to your old life and help Stephen to say goodbye to his old self and THEN the clouds will lift............I promise you this will happen. It's amazing what the human body and mind can adjust to and accept. I still have moments of missing some of my favorite foods, but it's not that bone deep feeling I used to get that would stay with me for hours after. And my healthier body helps me accept it also!

He's only 8 months out, he's still battling the depression of it all and so are you. Get him to talk about "missing" himself. Once I started sharing my feelings it made me feel so much better.

SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.