Mellay, weirdly enough my close local friend up and disappeared too. Funny I have seemed to hit the jackpot with weird behavior from both relatives and friends. It's like this year I hit some sort of unlucky lottery.

However, I know it's just more of a personal sort of deal on whether or not to force contact on people that seem to run away from sick people. In my own case, I didn't want to become the sickly stalker of people. I am not one to press my company upon those who don't value it.

All I know is that it takes all my energy and focus to deal with the cards I got dealt. As if we don't already have enough of "roller coaster" emotions with this damned disease, I know I certainly didn't need to shoulder the insensitivity and baggage from those that couldn't deal straight with me.

I am SO grateful for the people that did take the time to lift me out of that hole, even though it was a major disappointment in those that let me down--related to me or not.

Funny thing about cancer and facing mortality. It makes you seriously think about important stuff. No longer would I be threatened if someone promises to put something on my "permanent record" lol... While I still generally try to behave myself and concern myself with the niceties of "thank you" and other social graces, I guess I no longer care if someone thinks of me as a word that rhymes with "witch" <G>

Guess this is why, I don't suggest sending cards or letters to people. I'm afraid of telling them flat out where their faults lie. I'm not at all ashamed to admit this, but when the friend bailed on me and I didn't hear from her for three months, someone gave me a card with an old lady using a finger. The inside said "When words are NOT enough" Yes, I sent it and didn't feel bad about sending it. However, it's not like I ever wanted contact from that person again.

I think there is an expression called "Fair-weather Friends" perhaps that also goes for "Fair-weather Relatives" ... people who can only have a relationship with you when you are healthy and whole, but simply freak with illness or obstacles show up. Either way, I don't have much use for either. People who do not help are a hinderance.

I have three teenage children I must recover to finish raising. After being THE caretaker for over 16 years in my little family, my illness made me realize that it wasn't at all selfish for me to focus on caretaking ME for a change. There have been times during this past year where I have had to tell them I was simply unable to do something and they would just have to deal.

Anyway, I wish you luck with the daughter, Barb, but better yet, I wish you full recovery so you can enjoy life regardless of whether or not she comes around.

Jen