Rose, congrats on completing your treatments!!! Not at all easy!!!

Right now is the hardest time for almost everyone who has been thru rads. Its cumulative where the further you get into your treatments, the harder everything becomes. This can put a tremendous amount of stress on patients and caregivers alike, especially when they are not progressing as quickly as they think they should. Im sure you arent feeling very well at this time and unfortunately, to be completely honest... a full recovery for almost everyone who's been thru rads is much more than one month! In fact, many doctors have said its one month of recovery for every week of rads. The best thing I can tell you is sleep when you are tired. Rads can wipe you out!!! Even though rads ended, its still actively working which is why you are so tired. You've been thru ALOT!!!

Its best to focus only on what is within your control... your intake and pain management. For at least the first year after finishing rads, you need to continue taking in 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water... every single day!!! Dont fret!!! Your body is working OT trying to rebuild itself after the rads caused damage. You have a long way to go but very soon you will get up one morning and feel almost ok again... its going to be a surprise around 2-3 weeks post rads. Thats what we call around here as .... crawling out of the tunnel. . Its the tipping point where you can actually notice an improvement instead of feeling horrible 24/7. A complete recovery from everything you have been thru is 2 years. Yes, it really does take 2 years to get back to the best health thats closest to how you were before OC, treatments and recovery. But.. that wayyyy down the road, nothing you should concern yourself with right now. Focus on the positive and in time you will feel a little better. I know its not easy and wondering what the future holds can bring on unneeded stress and worry. No one ever has worried themselves out of any situation or had a test result changed from it. All worrying does right now is to make everything so much harder. All the negative issues we all tend to think about when we are down and out does not do anything at all to help any of us. If you havent already done so, I suggest asking about a therapist from your doctor or treatment facility so you can talk to a professional who understands what cancer patients go thru. It cant hurt, many patients also need anxiety meds on a temporary basis to help them get thru the whole ordeal that can be overwhelming to many.

You're almost at the point where you will be able to see your improvements and feel more positive about your situation. I do understand everything you're dealing with and I know its NOT easy at all with so many major changes happening in such a short time. We can never fully prepare ourselves for a serious illness or an unexpected job loss... but we can change how much we dwell on it and limit the amount of time spent on negative "what if" ways of thinking. You never know what the future holds, it really could be something spectacular!!! You cant predict what other changes may happen. Everything is never 100% good or bad... theres always a little of each but it all depends on how you view it. For me, I was devastated when I realized my health was not within my control and my idealistic retirement I planned for my entire life would never happen all from getting OC. I lost my 13 year career, pension, and a huge amount of "stuff" and faced (still am a work in progress 12+ years later) what I considered a gigantic uphill battle only to never succeed at another job or any other thing I previously would have excelled at anything I attempted. BUT!!! As unbelievable as it sounds, my after OC life is dramatically different and even with all my limitations, its actually a better life, more satisfying to help others instead of just writing a charity a check. When I meet people who didnt know I was disfigured (its right there on my face for the world to see), they're usually very surprised by my happy disposition and how positive I am. When OC took something away that can never be replaced... my looks, which I never knew carried so much weight until I didnt have it any longer. The world is so fickle and everything/everyone is constantly being judged by how they look. But, when looking at me they see someone who is disfigured but the personality does NOT match the looks. During my 2 month hospitalization, when I didnt recognize myself in the mirror I allowed myself one day to process the shock of losing my looks seemingly overnight. I went into the hospital to removed 1/2 of my lower jaw but with my complications it failed and when I woke up 3 weeks later I was someone else. Please try to think of your new voice being different, where only if you decide to speak will anyone ever hear your vocal challenges. Im not as lucky as you are, for me they can clearly see I have some serious health issues and I dont even need to say a single word, its right there on my face so its unavoidable. See... it all depends on your viewpoint Im pretty sure you hadnt considered only when you speak would anyone know about your health issues. Its a glass half full way of thinking about your situation. Ive had many close friends over the years who were unable to speak. Try an app called SpeakIt to be your voice by simply typing what you want to say. My friend used it all the time and it was!!! We are always our own worst critics!! Next time you see your doc, ask about the availability of a speech therapist. They've worked wonders on many who felt just like you with being very self conscious of their speech. In time, everything will improve. Unfortunately recovery never will happen as quickly as how we think it should go.

Hang in there and best wishes with everything!!!