Hi everyone - I loved reading your comments - it really put things in so many different perspectives. I did talk to Steve's social worker yesterday. I explained his current state and what we are all dealing with (including him). She stated this is exactly the reason why she tried to push him to start therapy before and during his care at Moffitt (it is a service they provide). He had refused it several times - first I think because they offered it the day of diagnosis and he was shocked, and then in the hospital where the thought of having to have to come back for one more appointment seemed like a horrible option. She said she would meet with him when he is there on Monday to have his surgical sites checked. She went on to say that she will insist he start, because his Surgeon would not be able to keep prescribing his anti-depressants if he does not. She went on to say at times they even hualt all treatment if a patient is in such a dire state and refuses therapy. She said she knows he is not there, but she will want to talk to him alone and really impress on him how important ( and perfectly normal) it is to deal with his mental health.

It is funny when his parents are not up helping us out, he comes out of his shell a bit more. The social worker says it is because he leans on me and his mom so much to take care of everything, and now it is just me for the rest of the week, he knows that indeed I have a ton on my plate (work, him, housework, and all of the pets). So last night he actually did a chore I asked him to do, watched tv in the living room, and started to try and drink water again from his mouth. All little things but big considering the last few days. He even was taking a shower when I left this morning in preparation for the home nurse to come. I do not think he has showered in 5 days. Funny the things you become grateful for as little glimmers of progress. 4 months ago we were counting down the days to our key west trip and getting excited and now I get excited when he can swallow some water or takes a shower. Wow, how life changes.

I have to say I also have become a pretty good nurse. I used to not be able to look at blood without having to run the other way. Now I change his packing in the hole on his next twice a day. I took this over after his mom left. Wow - I could not believe how hard his skin on his neck has become - like plastic. It actually scared me at first. He still has a lot of yellow fluids coming out of it, but the swelling is going down.

Again, thank you all of the support. I have my moments. I have a lot of perspective to the situation. I need to focus on it day by day and stop feeling like we are missing so much - going out with friends, vacations, "normal" everyday work/home life. I hope one day we will have some of that "normal" back but I know it will not be here tomorrow or next week.

Danielle