Welcome to OCF, Danielle! Im so glad you have found our group to help both you and your BF get thru the upcoming surgery and recovery. Sounds to me like you are doing an excellent job being a caregiver. I know its not an easy task!

Your BF is being treated at one of the country's top comprehensive cancer centers (CCC's). I have heard excellent things about the physician you mentioned. Your BF is very fortunate to have gone to Moffitt! This could make a huge difference in his outcome.

I know the sounds of having a glossectomy are frightening. Being at a top CCC, there will be tools and methods used which smaller local hospitals arent as familiar with. The surgery will be a long one and waiting will feel like torture. His hospital stay will likely be at least a week. He may have a trach tube on a temporary basis. Being treated at a CCC, there should be speech therapists available to help him adjust to all the changes. You can even ask if they have a visiting nurse program to stop by and check on him when he first goes home after surgery.

I would suggest having him eat as much as possible of all his favorites now. His eating will be a struggle for a little while after this major surgery. In time and with therapy he should bounce back. It will take time to adapt to using a new tongue but he is young and should do just fine.

As far as his outlook, if his current medication isnt working get it changed. At a CCC there should be special counselors to talk with to help your BF accept his situation. Being diagnosed once is hard enough, having a recurrence can really do a number on a person mentally. Its nothing to be ashamed of to need meds to cope, even some caregivers need a hand.

To me it sounds like you are a wonderful, supportive GF. He is lucky you are in his corner. Round up all the close friends and relatives who are also a positive influence in his life and hopefully they will all pitch in and help you keep him on track thinking positively. They can help in many ways, including taking turns staying with him round the clock while he is hospitalized. He shouldnt be alone, especially if he is not able to clearly communicate so an advocate should be by his side to help. A dry erase board will also be handy.

Hang in there!