Hello Danielle, I know how very scary a recurrence is. Terrifying.
I am so glad that you did take the step of getting that 2nd opinion at Moffit, which I believe is a Comprehensive Cancer Centre, a CCC. Research has proven improved survivorship and outcomes , if treated at a CCC. Good on you for doing the research. For myself as a Caregiver, doing the research helped me so much. I coped better when informed and was then able to pass that positivity on to Kris.
I would use this next few weeks to do lots of positive things with your Man. Get out and do those activities he enjoys. Even a gentle walk in the park is good for the soul. Gather your families around for support, eat and laugh together.
Yes, really, get him to eat lots. Any food he likes and as full of calories as you can. He will lose weight through treatments, so gaining now is a bonus.
My Kris had a Total Glossectomy, complete removal of the entire tongue, ( also removed his voice box). Kris swallows all his nutrition, does speak, and has a good quality of life. There is much for you both to be positive about, though I do understand how difficult that is at your current stage of treatment.
Know that we are all here for you both.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!