Danielle, you are a champion caregiver. He is lucky to have you while being very unlucky to have to face this cancer so young.

Dr Otto sounds great. I suppose you have reminded him of how positive she was.

Many of us have had partial or whole glossectomies and have gone on to lead normal lives. The flap surgery is surprisingly successful.He will have a surgeon to remove the cancer and a plastic or reconstructive surgeon to construct the new tongue. While the process is a real ordeal for the patient the hard bit is over by about 8 days. It's difficult because the patient has numerous drain bottles, a feeding tube, a tracheotomy and so on which by the end of the week are in an almighty tangle. They take about one drain or tube out a day and by Day 8 you're almost free.

I wonder if ordinary anti-depressants are enough. Has he talked to a counsellor or Cancer Society person, someone skilled in understanding the fear and mental pain he is going through? Quite often a person is buoyed by the fighting spirit of the doctors, feeling glad that a detailed plan of action is in place. If this isn't the case then I think he needs some sort of professional help. I'm not in the US and don't know how your system works but I would ring the specialist nurse and ask for help or see his GP to ask about options for more psychological assistance. I don't know about the 2-3 weeks wait. I would tend to trust the doctor here. I've always had to wait longer.