Thankyou all very much for your advice. I'm searching in my mind how to stay positive. I'm going to need a focal point, I'm guessing that will be my children. They need me, and I need them. I noticed a few comments about high stress jobs.
I'm very interested in this because my job is very stressful. I believe it attributed to the situation I'm in greatly. I'm software developer and project manager, as a consultant. Was thinking of quiting, but with everyone saying to stay busy, I'm not sure whether to or not. It definitely keeps me busy.

I'm still pretty confused on the nodes. So I see some of you have just one or 2 lympnodes I had 5 positive... So I'm guessing that is pretty bad right? where does it go to next?

SCC 12/13 - T1N0
1/28/13 - removal of tumor Rt. Tongue clear margins
5/14 lump under chin, 8/14 FNA showed C and CAT
8/25 neck dissection, 14nodes removed 9 clear 5 with C
Extra Nodal Extension not present
9/9/14 tumor board meeting to determine RAD and poss chemo treatment