Nicki-

I haven't checked the site for about a week, so I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner. This is the most amazing website in the world and I'm telling you I don't know what I would have done without it. I agree with everyone here about the advise to make sure he gets the PEG tube. It was what saved my husband's life. He ended up loosing 30 pounds total but it is now one year post diagnosis and he has gained it all back. If you are interested in knowing the special nutritional fluids we put in the tube feel free to personally email me...the doctor told us quite often to continue doing whatever we were doing because all his blood tests were coming back good and he lost his weight slowly. I think it is important to maintain nutritional balance so that he doesn't end up in the hospital for malnutrition or dehydration.

About the "attitude" thing. Yes, this is very very hard to go through. When my husband first saw his medical and radiation oncologists the first thing they told us was..."it can be cured" but, "it is going to be HELL !". About the 3rd week of treatment (he received radiation and chemo at the same time- surgery is what discovered the malignancy, so that was already done) the HELL began. There were times when he didn't want to go on. We are blessed with wonderful family and friends...because I was never afraid to say "yes" to their offers of help I think it helped him realize just how much he had to live for. He didn't go on anti-anxiety meds until about 3 weeks ago...he was stubborn...but they are doing wonders now. I went on the meds 3 months after diagnosis...it really helped me get some sleep and do what was necessary for my husband as well as myself.

Don't forget to take care of "you"! This is one of the biggest things that we tend to forget. Your husband needs you, but you won't be any help if you don't take time out for yourself. It did get hard for my husband to watch me eat...so I made lunch dates with girlfriends and family ...this was my time away and he didn't have to watch me eat.

I also print up all the posts for my non-computer literate husband and they really lift his spirits. It is amazing what knowing "you aren't the only one with this problem" can do for your recovery. There is hope out there and tons of people on this site to prove love and prayers work wonders.

You are in my prayers always...and feel free to personally email me if you have any other "caregiver" questions.

Lorie