Nicki, I had about the same experience your Tom had. Discovered a large lump in my right neck and mentioned it to my doctor at my annual physical two weeks later. He immediately sent me to the ENT who spent weeks determining that it was cancer with unknown primary. Turned out it was in the right tonsil. Had tonsillectomy and then 3 ciplatin treatments along with 35 rad treatments, then radical neck dissection on right side. You should look into this as I believe some recent studies have shown chemo/rad then surgery to be yielding some excellent results. As far as eating goes, my oncologist would not let me start without a peg. I lost 25% of my body weight during treatment with a peg. Without one I don't think I could have made it. You must keep him using his swallowing as much as possible with water and whatever, but I recommend the peg without reservation. Another positive is that you can take prune juice for that nasty consitpation thing. I took 7 oz. per day and it kept me in OK shape throughout. That is, after I discovered it. Before, I was like Gary, curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor wishing I could just expire. Also, tell Tom that a positive attitude will have an effect on the outcome of the treatments. If he can keep a business going, he can beat this disease. Would highly recommend that he follow through on surgery, too. Get rid of that part of the body that started all of this no fun treatment in the first place. Make sure it doesn't start again in the same place. My wife and I shopped for couches and love seats. I think shopping is a perfect chore for rad/chemo treatment patients. It occupies the mind and is not too large of a drain on our energy. I also stayed away from this site while I was in rad/chemo treatment, so if Tom is reluctant, don't push too much. I didn't want to know what was coming and he may feel the same way. I felt I could deal with it as it came, but if I knew what was coming, I might not be able to get to and through the experience. Just like in the Army when I was going through jump school. Once I made my first jump, and I knew what was coming, I really didn't want to do it again. As far as the attitude goes, the decision to not allow this disease to win, no matter what, will go a long way to keeping it positive. Just kick it in the shin at every treatment, that is the mental image, along with it getting smaller and smaller. By the end of treatment, you can almost laugh at it as you mentally envision all of the black and blue marks on its shins. You will both be in my prayers, along with the team medical professionals treating you. This disease can be beaten and you all can make it happen.