Hi, Nicki,
I'm sorry you have to join us, but glad you found us. This is where I found most of what I know about oral cancer, I search here so that I know what to ask the doctors. I can't imagine what it would be like without this group of people - there are so many things the doctors just forget to mention.

It is going to be hard. The best thing is to take things one day at a time, and enjoy the good moments when you have them (easy to say). Study the old posts, so you know what to expect, but try not to let them scare you - most likely you will have to deal with many of the unpleasant things, but not all of them.

I had surgery first, then radiation - radiation was by far the worst. I lost 30 lb, but since I was that much overweight to begin with, it wasn't too bad. I did not have a PEG. It sounds to me like your husband should consider getting one, since he does not need to lose any more weight. Eating will be a problem for a while - I am still pretty much on a liquid or semi-liquid diet.

My husband's support was the one thing that kept me going - I knew how important my recovery is for him, and that helps a lot. One thing you have to remember: take care of yourself. You need time for yourself, out of the house and away from him, every now and then. Go out and eat something good where he does not have to watch!
Good luck, Leena