Hi Nicki -- as you've probably learned by now, if you ask a question around here, you'll usually get tons of good advice and experiences... I feel well-armed whenever I go into a new phase of treatment after spending time with these wonderful people...

A few of my thoughts:
* Prayer definitely helps. I'm not the least bit bashful about asking anyone and everyone to pray. I send out regular "prayer" updates to scores of folks, and people actually tell me they look forward to my regular reports.

* Get pain meds and anti-constipation meds lined up before you need them. I didn't in either case the first time I went through radiation and paid the price. Think 32-year-old man wimpering on the bathroom floor on New Year's Eve and once again about two weeks later... ugg...

* Ask, ask, ask whenever you have questions. My wife often brings in our laptop when we talk to doctors. Don't ever fear taking too much of your docs and nurses' time. This is their job and YOUR husband's life. Don't be afraid to be pushy and persistent. I get mad at my uncle (who is being treated for pancreatic cancer) because he and his wife are so passive. We're pretty dang pushy. I call my wife the bulldog because she doens't take know for an answer... I'm alive and battling well today because of her...

* Do take time for yourself. Find some folks you can vent with and who can recharge you. It's tough on the caregivers for sure -- but WE LOVE 'EM!!!

* Protect your time. If you and your hubby have to sleep or rest, turn the phone off, etc. Don't worry about offending folks "who want to help" if you have nothing for them to do. At the same point, ask away when you do need help. YOu'll be amazed at how folks step up...

* By all means, picture you and your hubby BEATING THIS THING!!! Believe it will happen... When folks were telling me over and over how sick I was going to be from the Cisplatin, I tried to prove them wrong and not be so quick to accept that. So far, I've had two treatments (My second was today), and no throwing up... Of course, I'm not getting cocky about that because I know it can happen, but don't let all the talk of side effects, etc. doom you into thinking that everything bad is going to happen... hope that makes sense...

* On that same note, the radiation is pretty tough... I would advise investigating the PEG if you haven't already... I didn't use one, but I weighed 200 pounds at 5-9... I could afford to lose the weight!!

* Tell your hubby to work hard on nuitrition and staying hydrated... Some of my worst days after radiation were because I didn't have enough fluids in me. A few Gatorades changed me for the better in a hurry...

I too am surprised that they are not doing radiation and chemo together... Maybe this is something new, but most folks do them in concert, with the chemo helping sensitive the tumors to the radiation...

Do well... We're all with the both of you!!!

Eric

Tongue cancer (SCC), diagnosed Oct. 2003 (T2 N0 M0). Surgery to remove tumor. IMRT Radiation 30x in Dec 2003 - Jan. 2004. Recurrence lymph node - radical neck dissection June 2004. Second round of rad/chemo treatments ended Sept. 2004.