Heather,

You are posting on a board full of people who are experienced on the path that you and your family have found yourselves on. Many here have been through this ordeal several times and or have been on these forums for many years and have literally helped thousands through this crazy and often deadly ride. There are even people here that speak nationally about this disease to our medical community, and of course we've all lost friends and or family to this disease that we've tried to help.

It should be very evident as to how critical the advice is to get a second at MDA just based on how many posters have suggested it, of which you can add myself to that count. What I would tell you is instead of getting angry and feeling judged, you should take a moment, understand that our only concern is for your husband and your family and that we are speaking from a place of wisdom earned through heart breaking experience.

Second opinions are just prudence, and second opinions from arguably the best Otolaryngology dept is a no brainer. Unlike you, we've already lived this and have seen friends and family die to the diagnosis you just described, in fact I held the hand of my friend, from Texas no less, this summer as his third recurrence of aggressive tongue cancer was taking his life after it took his entire tongue, and larynx after many surgeries and two rounds of chemo & radiation.

So what I would say in the nicest way possible, full of love and compassion, is to pull your spinning head from your behind, and get the second opinion as it truly is a matter of life and a horrible, tortuous death. I don't really give a damn if I offend you either, hopefully I make you mad enough to get the second just to shut me up. My only concern, as a man who was diagnosed in his early 30's, married with two young children, is that your husband lives for you and your young family.

Peace and love,

Eric