I feeL that way, too, sometimes, and I'm three years out! This is probably one of the worst kinds of cancers you can get, and even some of my friends who have had breast cancer have no idea what my situation is. I find myself almost jealous of those who have had breast cancer, because "our" cancer doesn't get nearly the publicity that breast cancer does. Usually, I can remain pretty upbeat, when I am with my friends and family, but at least I can vent here. Brian's quote about our mouths is really on the money. John, I know that nothing I can say can possibly make it "all better" but please feel free to vent here as much as you like. Everyone here has been where you are, and there are so many others who have had it so much worse. I try to take my inspiration from Christine, Charm and Eric. They make me feel very humble!