John,

Trust me when I say, you are among people that understand in a way that no one else can. It almost killed me laying in a bed for 2 years being dragged down by massive amounts of opiates, side effects, and my own self pity. I'm thankful for the beautiful souls on these forums that helped me through that time to the other side of it.

Now don't get it twisted, I will never be the person to say that survivorship is easy, I don't shovel bullish!t for a living, but I'll tell you that I enjoy life today more than I ever did before cancer. My advice to you is to keep plugging into the survivors and caregivers of this disease for advice and inspiration, build relationships here to help you until you get your feet back under you. I'm a huge believer in hope, and live by a quote from Nietzche, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." Find your why John.

My biggest "why" was my family, I have a wife and two young boys that made me straighten up, broaden my shoulders, lower my head and push through this sh!t anyway possible. I used nutrition, exercise, and daily motivations of reading, these forums, music, movies, chemical assistance etc to build up my spirit and keep me from succumbing to the darkness of the situation. When you're ready to do that, remember that it's a choice. The few choices we have on this path really.

My question to you John, is are you going to let this bullish!t beat you or are you going to fight back by making the choices I've described above? I've used these forums to express my feelings of vulnerability, fear, and anger...but also those of triumph, joy, and happiness. Lay it out brother it's what we are here for. When you are ready to fight back to get to the optimum new you, let me know player as I'm here to help with advice on nutrition, exercise, books, movies, and music.

3 years ago today I was on an insane amount of fentanyl (strongest opiate available to humans, roughly 100x stronger than heroin) and had to use a walker to get from my bedroom to my living room down the hall. Tonight I was asked to go down and help train some local amateur mixed martial arts fighters preparing for their upcoming cage fights....on top of all of the other cools sh!t I'm blessed to do, many of my exploits I share on Facebook.

Keep your chin up John, hope is all we have my friend.


Eric