John, IT WILL GET BETTER! I know it doesn't feel like it will right now but it will. When my husband was having the same issues as you are with not being able to talk I searched on these message boards and I couldn't find anyone who had the same issue. John's issue wasn't the pain it was that the mucus would make him gag and throw up if he tried to talk. John always had a cup next to him to spit the nasty mucus crap out of his mouth. As a caregiver it was a very lonely time for me because I am used to sharing my day with him after work. John has his own business and couldn't work for around 3 months because he couldn't talk to his clients. We used to send each other e-mails during the day to communicate.

I think it would be very helpful if you kept a timeline and a journal. I kept one on my computer in a word document. I go back and look at it and refer to it when people like yourself are looking for help and a timeline reference. When you are healed and over the immediate issues you will be able to help others who are just beginning their journey.

The feelings you are feeling are totally normal. Cancer and it's treatments are depressing. I'm sure my husband had days where he felt exactly like you do. Sit outside and enjoy some sunshine and warm breezes. Wanda