So normal Jon. If you think of the grieving process of which a large part is anger, you reaction is perfectly understandable. Add to that, your life has changed, and you feel cheated because your expectations weren't managed. Even if you were told, you could not have been able to imagine the reality.

It all feels so overwhelming right now - not only because you were not prepared but your body is putting all it's energy into healing which makes if very difficult for you to be grateful or positive to be alive. But it will come.

I suggest you continue to vent, but also write down what you are feeling every day and slowly you will come to realise that your "bad" days are not coming as often and soon your good days will outnumber them. One day you will realise you can't remember when your last "bad" day was.

Lastly, consider some chemical help. Antidepressants smoothed Alex's path during recovery as he found it exceedingly difficult to come to grips with the sheer enormity and shock of what had happened to him. And who wouldn't?