No, you are NOT going to disappear. You may have to go on a liquid diet for a bit, or maybe a PEG, but those are manageable changes that you WILL be able to handle if you have to (and we don't know if you have to).

If your weight is low, you might want to add Ensure or Boost once or twice a day to keep your calories and protein intake up.

Regarding the pain - it can be managed. If you do have to undergo treatment, you won't be doing it all - there will be a medical team - and us on OCF - to help.

I just want to reiterate something Sandy posted: "Sometimes it is a gift to allow people who love you to do the giving for a change--it is generous to receive instead of always giving."

When my husband was sick and undergoing treatment, I was SO happy to be able to do something for him. It is a blessing for you and the giver to accept help freely given.

Take care and keep posting.