Bean, as you see from all the survivors on this forum, head and neck cancer can be treated and beaten. If it is cancer the treatments are very rough going but it sounds to me that you have plenty to live for. I don't know what insurance you have (I believe you did say you have it) but with ins. it shouldn't bankrupt you. My entire course of treatments came to well into the 6 figure category and all that I paid of it with co-pays came to about $1500. Cancer is not a death sentence and your family would no doubt be devastated if you just gave up without a fight. At least, I would be, and probably angry as well. MHO.

David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.