Oh honey I am not going anywhere, it's MY house not his. #1 also is that we are NOT married. Though together for 14 yrs but nothing on paper! #2 My house not his, I fought long and hard for the dump in my divorce and nobody elses name on the deed but MINE!
We had a good talk yesterday about death. There was a tramatic event yesterday that happened. My daughter ran over our 15 yr old darn mama kitty...we had to put her down...it was her cat too. She was mortified, I witnessed it cuz I was behind her car moving mine out of the way and saw at the last second the darn cat going under her car...I think mama kitty was deaf...she was old and kinda sick too and I kept telling everybody I think she is trying to commit suicide cuz she kept laying under our car tires! My daughter was hysterical...I kept composed, but lost it last night when I tried to go to sleep, I just kept replaying what happened in my head and trying to stop her from running her over. All the what ifs were/are still going thru my head. I went to Walmart after work to get her some more can food so I was behind Tori and she had to go to work but I came in to bring in the food IF I didn't go I would have been there before Tori got home and maybe this wouldn't have happened. She said "why me mom why me?" and I said you were her master it was to be this way I guess. She was telling Beedy she was soo sorry and if I hadn't witnessed this I wouldn't believe it but she was wrapped up in a towel and she pulled her damn paw out and put it on Tori's hand as if to say "it's OK I forgive you" OMG for Christ Sake...are you kiddng me? Yes she cried harder. It was our worst night in our life ever...and she still had to go to work as a pizza hut deliverer cuz they couldn't find nobody else. So now I am down 2 cats as well as 2 dogs. Poor mama Beedy...
But as for Ron, he cried yesterday also which I think was good for him and again I told him about his drinking beer with the meds, so he actually went and was drinking a ginger ale! But he did say, he is going to live his life the way he wants to and he said he will be happy in what he choses to do. OK...but you aren't going to be mean to me! And listen...he is having issues with remembering things...it's the meds and alchohol right? only when he's doing them both. I can't wait for them to take him off the oxy crap next week he has his 2nd Swallow Study on the 11th. Gosh I sure hope he passes. Oh and another thing, he won't go to the store any more, like Walmart to get dog food, cuz he don't like the way people look at him with his tube and his trach, when did he ever give a darn bout what other people think? He is really going a total different direction here this time.
Thanks all for listening. I'll keep you posted. OH and I told Ron to go sleep in the living room, we have 2 couches and the tv is in there, but yesterday he actually slept thru the night til 930 this morning he said. Which is great! Usually when he does too much with beer he wakes up all the time so maybe he may notice he sleeps better. Who knows.
