:)Hi Nate. We are all here for you! I'm responding to your post from a "Caregivers" point of view. I think it's great that you are able to express yourself to everyone here. When John was going through treatments I used to drive back and forth to work and just cry in my car out of frustration, fear, watching someone I love more than anyone in the world suffer and just the "unfairness" of it all. I remember being out shopping, working etc. and thinking to myself "how can everyone just go about their normal life when my husband is suffering so much and has cancer". It was an almost surreal feeling. Keep posting and let your feelings out. I don't know what meds you are on but they can affect your moods and the feelings you are having. Just take this journey one day at a time! Hugs.