Hello all,

I wrote a few months back that I was having trouble with an area under my tongue, caused by it consistently rubbing against my new implants. I do not wear my upper denture, so when I eat, I use a tongue thrusting motion that causes the contact between the underneath of my tongue and my bottom teeth. This has created quite an open area under my tongue that just won't heal. It trys to and at times seems like it is, but then I get really hungry again, eat alot, and we're back at square one. Over the past month I have convinced myself that it wasn't from my teeth but that it was cancer. Our mind is a dangerous tool at times and I used mine to put myself into a tailspin of depression and anxiety. My husband finally stepped in and took me to my oncologist yesterday, who of course was stuck in surgery, but I did get to see two of his partners. Both of them did a thorough examination of me and both told me that they do not believe this is cancer but a mechanical injury that isn't healing due to the radiated tissue, the fact that my tongue is tied down in that area which limits the blood flow and my poor nutrition. I had no idea I had lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks. But if you have ever had an open area like this in your mouth, you know how very painful it is. I'm not very big to begin with and losing that amount of weight makes a drastic difference. Needless to say, I look like death right now. I spent the last week talking to my husband about how I wanted the three youngest girls raised, tons of details, talked to him about life without me. I clearly went overboard and went to a place that I don't think I've been to yet in my time with dealing with cancer.
I elected to see my regular doctor on Tuesday and will ask him to biopsy the area, which is what I believe he would do regardless. The other two docs are fantastic and I trust them, but I want it definitive.
They also put me on an anti-anxiety medication and an anti-depressant. Shocked me for sure. I had a full blown break down in the office with my 25 year old daughter witnessing it all. I'm so ashamed of that, she is trying to finish up her masters and has SO much stress on her right now.
But, I have to say that the meds made me get a good nights sleep, even if they do make me feel weak.
A lesson for all of us: Don't be afraid to see your doctor about things, don't let it go on so long that you create horrific outcomes in your head. AND, TALK to your family about it! I'm so super protective about guarding my husband and kids from this cancer touching them any further that I put myself through a lonely HELL. I need them when I feel like this and they want to be there for me.
Love to all,
A very medicated and very calm Minnie

SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.