Wendy,
It's not just a male reaction. As you see in my signature I have had 3 different cancers in about 5 years. In the same time span my husband had surgery for colon cancer and I was knocked down by a car in a parking lot (only a small bruise on a hip thanks to a thick coat a fat purse.) Each incident caused different reactions, but basically, I did not let fear or anger become part of the picture. I don't belive that I was in denial, rather it was acceptance of the situation. I approached these cancers as OK what's there, what needs to be done, lets do it. I made charts of the appointments, medications, etc. My husband is "medically dense" in the sense that he considers asprin, rubbing alcohol or neosporin can cure almost anything. He listens to what the doctors say and assumes that everything will be fine. I listen to the doctors like a curious child, study those charts on the walls and back of the door and picture exactly which nerve, muscle, cell, etc. will be affected.
It really isn't important who keeps track of what is going on and all the possible outcomes, as long as it is done. It is always OK to worry as long as the worrying is productive. Questions about treatment, medications, timelines, aftereffects, possible problems, therapies, etc. are legitimate.