Interestingly enough, I was just reading a short article today in this month's issue of Pyschology Today. The title is "Therapy Watch. Bottled Up. When I'm Okay Means I'm Okay". It says:

A recent study found that if someone doesn't immediately express his feelings aftr a potentially traumatizing event, it's more likely to mean that he's resilient than that he's bottling up his emotions unhealthily. Do therapists ever know bettr than a client whether he needs to address a potentially dificult experience? We asked the experts in Pyschology Today's Therapy Directory:

Handing Over the Reins - "I never assume that I know better than they do about their own needs," says Lindsey Steward Plumer of Roseville, CA. "I tell my clients that while they didn't choose to suffer a traume, they get to choose how they deal with it, with whom, and under what circumstances. Part of the healing after a trauma is to become empowered again."

Up a Creek - "We close down after trauma for a good reason: to protect ourselves from overload, which can feel like being in the rapids without an oar," says Jill rosen of Beverly Hills, CA. "Pulling away a defense without another defense in place may cause harm."

Ready When You Are - Amy Daver os Puyallup, WA says "Often the therapist is more aware than th eclint that certain issues are in the way. that doesnt' mean she can or should push. The therapist can invite, though."

In Your Dreams - Aracely Palomares Neeley of Katy, Tx, describes one form of invitation: "A client's parent was <traumatic experience described...edited out here>. I inquired about the client's dreams. It opened the exact can of worms I was looking for."

I hope that some of this helps Wendy. Good luck.

Sabrina