Hi Wendy -
David is sooo right. It is rare to see both patient AND caregiver in here. My husband, who has had several bouts of oral cancer, never goes in here on his own. Sometimes, I will find something of particular interest to him and "copy and paste" it to our email address, and he always reads it, sometimes responding to the poster if he can help. But, I am guilty of keeping bad/sad news from him, because I know he doesn't want to read it anyway. He is doing well right now - he was just told at his check-up Tuesday that everthing looks so good, he can wait 6 months for his next check-up rather than the usual 3 months - so I just keep reading and learning everything I can from the good members of this OCF forum. He has maintained a great attitude all thru these years of surgeries and multitudes of doctors. Each person learns to adapt to how she or he can handle the situation, positively or negatively, and goes with their "comfort" level. Good luck to both of you, Wendy! Warmly, JaneP.