I feel so bad .I hadnt noticed the many recent replies to my post and i feel like i have ignored all the lovely people who take the time and trouble to be so supportive .Petey you dont know how apt the Cookey Monster label is!!!(i am one of lifes larger ladies ).AngAK you seem to be me!!and here i am whining again.Despite the promise of recovering at my home in Yorkshire,Rob has completely dismissed any chance of a visit.I will not get to see my Grandchildren and my Mum,and i feel so resentful. I cant see what difference it makes whether he sits on his couch all day clutching the heater and doesnt speak, or sits on mine . The big difference to me would be that i have a garden i could sit in and work on and family all local who i could visit with..In other words i could start to have a life again.Instead i get up every morning ,have a cup of tea and a shower ,get Robs feed ready phone my Mum,Give Rob his feed and meds,go and get his newspaper,do the chores and then spend the rest of the day on the computer or doing a jigsaw.The highlight of the day is taking the dog for a walk.Rob spends the whole day shut in the living room with the central heating on and i only see him every three hours at feed times.He hardly speaks at all and then only in monosyllables.I am fat and this sedentry life is causing me horrendous problems with joint pains and back ache ,and i long for the fresh air of my country cottage.I dont eat proper meals because i feel guilty cooking and eating around Rob and i cant watch the tv as he has the radio on all day.When i do go into the lounge in the early evening when he puts the tv on he doesnt speak and we only watch what he wants ,and then he gets up says goodnight and goes to bed(usuually 10 mins after a programme i wanted to watch has started).I then have the lounge and the tv to myself for the evening and sit till midnight by myself.When people come to visit him he puts on a great show for them and they think he is doing well and as soon as they have gone the silence descends.

I want to go home but i know i cannot leave him.should i press my point of view and tell him how selfish i think he is being?or do i just carry on putting up and shutting up.
On a lighter note my daughter sent me a picture of my beautiful Georgina sitting in a field of daffodils oh how my heart aches to see her and my sons daughter Josie .Josie is six months old now and i havent seen her since December .She cut her first tooth yesterday and she is in nursery three days a week, her mum has gone back to work and i was supposed to be looking after her one day a week. She wont even know me any more. But not long now i hope.
To all of you who have grand children to share your life give them a special hug from me.

love liz in the uk