Thank you all so much.I needed to get that off my chest because it has been tearing me to pieces.A semblance of peace has decended on the house again,as robin is still obviously very ill ,(a fact proven by his going to bed in the afternoon yesterday for the first time in his whole 4 months of ill health)and has had to concede the dramatic gestures are not for this time in his recovery.
Shar you hit the nail right on the head with this observation
"And I think for Robin going to the pub...it was probably him showin himself that he isnt going to let this change him,,somtimes we all just have to do somthing to prove to oursleves that we are still that same person." I am an adult and should have seen that straight away and dealt with it ina more rational manner.
I understand that now i have seen the misery in his eyes as the realisation that no amount of sheer cussidness is going to enable him to do a lazarus and take up his bed and go back to work /the pub etc until his body is good and ready.
So bless all you dear people who have trodden this road before me ,and forgive my selfish wander off the path into self pity.
On a brighter note my son sent me a whole album of photographs of my youngest granddaughter Josie they are beautiful and i cant wait to get my hands on her

much love liz in the UK