Mandi,
My story is the opposite of Diana's. My Mom never called the cops on my Dad, but I wished she would have. Yes, it would be hard for your boys to see Dennis taken away in cuffs, but it has to be difficult for them to see him the way he is now. I wasn't much older than your boys when my most fervent wish was for my Mom to take us kids and leave my Dad. Although I get along okay with my Mom, I will always harbor a certain amount of resentment toward her because she allowed us to be subjected to his alcoholic tantrums. I realize your situation may not be as bad, but if Dennis doesn't get help, it will probably get worse. You may not be able to make Dennis change, but going to Alanon is the first step in helping yourself and your boys.
My heart goes out to you. Living with an alcoholic is hard, and having your children subjected to it makes it even harder. I hope you all get the help you need to get through this. It is such a tragedy that your family has survived cancer, but may be torn apart by alcohol. If you think it will do any good (unfortunately, it probably won't), you can tell Dennis how I absolutely hated my father for what he put us through. I wanted to get away so bad that I left home on the night of my high school graduation and didn't see my Dad again for several years. If it wouldn't have been for an interfering aunt, I might never have seen him again, And truly, I wouldn't have regretted it if I hadn't. I know that sounds terrible, but that is what alcoholism does to families. At least I can say that in later years I no longer hated my Dad, but I still didn't like him and certainly never loved him. I didn't grieve when he died, didn't cry at his funeral and don't miss him in the least. I would hate for this to happen with your boys. I'm sorry I wrote so much, but I'm sure you can tell this hits very close to home for me. Especially since my son, daughter and their partners all drink too much. Heather was the only one who didn't drink excessively. Didn't drink, didn't smoke, but she's gone. And the smokers and drinkers are still smoking and drinking even after watching her suffer so. Now I'm getting off track. Take care and I wish you the best.
Rainbows & hugs,
Rosie
