Dear all,

I hope this finds everyone enjoying the holiday season to the fullest.

I'm facing a serious problem, however, and hope there is someone out there to give me advice.

Yes,as so many of you loving people have asked, Dennis is still cancer free, with scans scheduled two weeks from now. His major problem now is alcoholism and an inability to stop smoking. Even after being subjected to rad, chemo, and an upper lung lobectomy, he continues to drink and smoke more than ever. Yes, it has escalated....I'm talking a case of beer a day and two to three packs of cigarettes.

I've done everything that I know to do to help him. From pampering, pleading, crying, joking, bribing, and yes, physically fighting him (he's lost a lot of his strength!) and nothing, and I mean NOTHING changes his course of self-destruction. No amount of my input makes a difference. In his eyes, if he is able to work, (and this is when he can manage the hang-over) he is doing his part. Thank God he has a wonderful employer, or we would have been on the streets months ago.

Now, I know what needs to be done. I have to get him into rehab. And this brings me to my big question. Has anyone out there gone through the process of having a loved one committed? I understand from my nephew, who is a policeman, that I can have him admitted to detox, but only by going in front of a judge and getting an order. Then they will physically show up at our house, hand-cuff him and take him.

As you can imagine, this process scares the shit out of me! I feel like I'm going out in a new deminsion with no knowledge. I don't want my boys (12 and 9) to see their Dad hauled away with the lights flashing. Not that I care what the neighbors know, but I don't want this to be a spectacle.

Please, if you can give me any kind of input, let me know.

Love Always,
Mandi

I know that alcoholism is a "disease", but I can't help but wonder what makes him this way. Before the dx he was a drinker, but always maintained the highest attitude when it came to his family, and, especially his job. Now, even when I ask, he won't commit to anything being worth his changing the behavior.

I'm lost guys. I'm embarrassed for even asking, but I need your help in this one. With the holidays coming, the first since I lost my mom in June, I'm about to crumble.

Love,
Mandi