Hi Mandi,
I too am a caregiver for an oral cancer patient but have not encountered what you are facing. I don't have much to offer but support. It seems that every patient has a different way to cope with this illness. I am just so sorry your husband has chosen something so destructive. Make sure you and children learn how to cope with this and take care of yourselves. Hug your boys. Sometimes it is the best medicine. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Cindy