Gordon,

When I returned to work after my treatment was over, my lower lip was still paralyzed and my speech was still mushy. I work as a consultant to dental practices and my job is to speak all day. I knew I didn't look my best and I certainly didn't sound my best but most of the offices I went into said "you look great -- you'd never know" or "you sound great -- you can't tell at all" which kind of made me angry. I wanted people to acknowledge the struggle I'd been through and was continuing to go through.

What made me feel best was the people who'd ask "is your lip going to get better?" or "your smile is still beautiful to me" or even "you look kind of like a pirate" but they were really the minority. Most people just believe it is better to ignore it or tell you it is no big deal even when it is a big deal.

I also had people in my life who did not step up to the plate when I needed them, people I considered to be my "chosen" family and two years later I have forgiven them but my relationships are not the same. Cancer is a scary thing to everyone I guess.

But you have found us, Gordon, and we will be here for you through the good times and bad and none of us care what your face looks like. I am a dental hygienist so I can give you my professional opinion on your lips if you want to send me a picture.

Hang in there, it will get better, it always does.

Barb