I can't really imagine what else would be wrong with me and I feel like I am just waiting and waiting for an official diagnosis, I totally appreciate the replies! I just need a place to relate my truest feelings with others who have been there. I don't intend to bring everyone down with me. I guess I am wondering if I could ever really be happy again at all sometimes. I wonder if I will ever be able to sit and just be bored without thinking of cancer? ect.I am having one heck of a time accepting what I believe is my fate. I may be jumping the gun, but I am wondering if it is really possible to go through treatments ect., and still be comfortable in my own skin. I dunno...hard to explain.