rdb7777,

If I recall correctly, you have a wife and young child. Right? This is the second time you have mentioned suicide here, that I recall. These thoughts are not healthy and, given the fact that you do not have cancer yet, are of a far more pressing nature than what brought you here. I am no doctor but I do know that I'm on my second round here and ending it all will not be by my choice, and it certainly should not be yours. Please forgive me if I'm coming off cold here, but you need to speak to your PCP about some medication and perhaps some counseling. I want you to feel like you can post here but there is just no warm and fuzzy reply to this type of post. Please talk to someone now. Please don't get me wrong, I have been following your situation and hoping for a happy ending.

Good luck,
Glenn