RDb
Get thee to a Doctor and get some medication, NOW!
My dad tried to commit suicide ( stabbed himself six times ) and I am still angry at him.
Your family has enough to deal with , they dont need a major guilt trip on top of it all.
I just don`t sound very sympathetic do I ? Sorry.
Maybe its because we spend our time trying to help folks live.
Please get some help, you are giving up before you even start fighting .
I am sure your wife would be crushed to read this post of yours.
Take Care
Marica