Hi Michelle,
I've thought of you and Mandi for several months (I am also named Michelle, so it easy to remember you!). Like others on this board, you are in our thoughts and prayers.

It is not fair that your sister has this cancer. As a mom and sister myself I feel your pain, although I cannot begin to understand the full extent that you are enduring.

When my grandfather died 2 years ago, I was there. It felt hard to know what to do to help. I would ask if he wanted a sip of water or some other physical comfort, but I felt like I couldn't help. I felt I didn't know what to say. His death was awful for the family. But I afterwards found peace in the fact that I was there, and was amazed at the emotional healing that came just from holding his hand and being by his bedside.

When you know someone so well they stay with you even though their phsyical body is gone. You have conversations with them, remember them when you see certain spots and locations. The pain is great at the time of death, but the grief seems to lessen and is replaced with fond memories. Their love continues on.

I also feel bad comparing the death of my grandfather, who lived a long noble life, with your pain of seeing your sister taken away so young. I don't want to diminish your pain but to offer some encouragement, that even though now it may not feeling as though you are doing much, that you are indeed doing a wonderful job as a sister. Later, there will be comfort and healing.

God bless,
michelle s