Lily, just now read your first post, firstly we are very sorry for the loss of your husband, along with your illness seems too much to bear. We are about to battle our 3rd reoccurence. There is alot of love and support here on the board. Tests themselves make most of us crazy..Just hang in there, which right, like I know ! Easier said than done......remember, you don`t have anything conclusive yet, so like alot of us here try to do, is just take one day at a time, or minute, or hour ! Believe me, alot of us have been through this, so stick around........Our prayers are with you.......Packer and Dee