I wanted to send you an email directly, but you have that portion of your profile blocked. My private message to you was not checked in the "my profile" part of your web page for several days so I am posting a portion of it here. I can tell you that in the first couple of years after radiation I had similar scares. Each time a new radiologist would read my films they would say that portions of the upper third of my lungs looked suspicious, and it would set things into motion. But each time it was determined that that was residual scarring from the radiation treatments of my neck (which is not as localized as they would like you to think), and the panic level went back down after additional testing. I now routinely have abnormal lung scans, but it has not been cancer in 5 years. Radiologists have to report everything that falls into the range of abnormal, and issues related to damage to the lungs that occurred during your treatments might very well be what they are seeing. Good luck in your next set of scans, let's hope this is all that it is. Survivorship is like this. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You would think that it would get easier as time passes, but no one that I have talked with indicates that to be so. It's something we will all carry for the rest of our time. Try to keep it all in perspective, and try to find some good in each day no matter how dark they seem. And please don't spend more time alone than necessary given the other sadness that has happened in your life. Having others around, and being able to share your sorrow with them helps a great deal. They may not have answers, but just their act of their listening makes it a little better.