Hi Lily, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, coupled with everything you are going through with your own illness. When things like this happen - it is so easy to be overwhelmed with a wide range of emotions and fears. That is understandable. As far as the cat scan and x-ray are concerned, please know that you are not alone when it comes to nervousness and apprehension when it's time for scheduled tests like these. If you were to see some previous posts by patients (and caregivers) you will see that this is to be expected. We are all human, and the fear of what tests like these can reveal can just simply drive a person bonkers! My husband who was treated for stage III/IV SCC at the base of the tongue - just went to see his oral surgeon yesterday, his radiation oncologist today...and also had to get bloodwork done and an x-ray as well. Waiting for results truly is one of the hardest parts to deal with. The best advice I can gice you is to reach out to friends and other family members now - and don't be afraid to ask for help with chores and various tasks, etc. Also - if you are feeling more overwhelmed than you think you can handle - it would be wise to talk to a Counselor who will be able to help put things in perspective for you. Also - remember to do things for YOURSELF - things that have always brought some comfort and happiness - sometimes, something as simple as a nice stroll around the block or in a park can help clear your mind. I hope these suggestions help to some degree...although time is often the only remedy for such things. Know that we are here for you to cry, vent, scream...whatever helps you to feel better. You are not alone. God bless during this time of healing for you, and my thoughts and prayers are with you for good health in the future. Take care.