Man-I am working on the secong page here of the same topic for the last week. I seem like a pain in the hind end, but I think I came off the wrong way. I know Brian is trying to help (thanks Brian), but when I read what everyone had written to me, including himself about HAVING to go to MSK, I felt like if I did not then I shouldn't bother coming back in here because you would all think I was handling my situation wrong. For some people, that is the best and wisest decision. But, right now, that is not the case for me. I have not even heard the Oncologists opinion and won't until Thursday afternoon. I want everyone, inculding Brain's, opinion but it doesn't mean I am going to listen 100% and if I choose not to do what you think is the BEST choice, I just don't want to be criticised (sp?). I KNOW you guys all mean well, believe me, I do. Like I said, I want your help and I hope I continue to recieve your support.
Rosie-It is scary to read about what your daughter is going through, and being close to my age, with a child as I have, I can only imagine. Luckily, if I do have to have treatment (assuming I do have cancer), I found out that both of my sister-in-laws will be home from college beginning this week and will be home the entire summer, so I am sure that they can and will be a big help to my family. They do not even know that I may be dealing with something like this, and I am not sure I want to say anything.
Question-Did you guys tell any friends/family (outside of parents/spouses) what you thought you were dealing with before you actually had a diagnosis? I have only told my parents/in laws/and 2 friends at work (nurses). I, myself, feel like I do not want anyone to worry about me unless there is something to worry about. Some people appreciate the moral support while they are going through the diagnosis stage, but I am not so sure.
Also, I had my first reality check today when I went to the mailbox. The "new patient" forms for the Oncologists office came today and I said to my husband, "I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be filling out papers for this office". Too weird. He doesn't want to talk about anything though because he wants to be SURE of what I am dealing with. He really doesn't even like me on this site because he can't understand why I am scaring myself before I even know what my diagnosis is. I told him that I, and my doctor, were like 90% sure and that it is nice to come to a place where people tell it like it is, no matter how scary. This way, I will know what kind of help I would need, and support systems to have in place. I thank everyone for their input up to now and I invite anyone to change the topic now to something else until Thursday (when I will come back with a diagnosis!!!)
Desiree'