[quote=DeniseG]Having OC is not automatically a death sentence. There are lots of check ins of long term survivors on this forum, check them out. That said, I know how you feel. I was diagnosed almost a year ago with SCC on the right side tongue. I had surgery in Feb and started 30 rounds of radiation in March. I just had my first post treatment PET scan and am seeing my doctor this week, hoping all is good as the doctors assure me it will be. You are in the right place for support and encouragement along your journey, we've all been there. The treatment for your cancer is going to be rough, no way around it, OC treatment is tough. But you will get through it! Keep us updated and we will be here to support you!
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Good luck to you, and thanks. Trying to put things into prospective. People survive this, why not me? And everyday is another day closer to better treatments and the status quo changing, right?

[quote=OzMojo]The waiting is hard. I found it easier to break down into steps. The next appointment, next treatment, next test results etc. There comes a point where you've done all the admin and side issues, and you just have to wait for the next step. My next step is my checkup in December, and no matter how many times I rub my neck and do test swallows there's nothing I can do before then. Yours is your PET results, then your surgery. If you think too far beyond that it will do your head in. Take it one step at a time.[/quote]
So this is exactly where I am right now. By nature I'm a planner, and I like to start at the end, quantify risks, and work backwards. That's not working for this. So trying to focus on the next step, and being ready to roll with the punches. Resilient rather than planful. So focused first on what needs to get done, just in case. Transition plan at work. Financials, house stuff I can take care of in the next week, recording messages for my wife, son and friends, birthday cards for my son until he turns 18. I'm limiting that scope to "surviving the surgery'.

Then I'm a blubbery mess.

Get my head out of it, and plan for the near future. Spent the weekend doing family stuff, mostly feats of strength so I remember what it's like to be original version me. But I already asked the plastic surgeon how quick the leg will rehab if i make it off the table. He tentatively okay'd planning for a vacation to Scotland in April. So bought travel books and started talking about itineraries. My buddy is going to come help put in a bathroom in our basement next weekend. I've been putting it off, and the wife is questioning whether we want to do it now, but it's a twofer. It'll help with convalescing - it'll be a lot easier for her to work and keep the house presentable w/o help, for all the friends and family that'll show up, if I can be stashed down in the family room during the day. And once I'm good, we'll have a much needed BR down there. And it gives me a near term future project to focus on. So, a three'fer actually.

[quote=OzMojo]Googling is very good for helping you understand what the doctor has told you, and I found it helpful in framing my questions for the doctor next time I saw him. You only have a limited window to discuss things directly with the doctor, and there's a lot of information to process. I see you've Googled OC survival rates, which is extremely common and I did exactly the same thing. The problem is you're actually asking Google the wrong question. You don't care that xyz number die from OC, or even the odds. The question you want the answer to is "is this going to kill ME?" Thats the real question. Of course even the mighty Google doesn't know the answer to that one. But it is a useful tool for getting your head around medical terms. [/quote]
Yeah, and that's a biggie. I like numbers in everyday life, but they're not really spectacularly useful here. So I've kinda pulled back from that. I've been reading Ian Gawler's "You Can Conquer Cancer" and the chapter on dealing with the prognosis was helpful. Now if I could just get the analytical part of my brain to settle down when I'm not working, I might be able to hold it together.