Hi Rayster. Sorry to hear your diagnosis. There's no two ways around it, its a scary time! Your feelings are completely normal, I think most people feel that way at the start. I certainly did.

The people here are patients and caregivers, and every journey is different. We're not medical professionals and can't give medical advice but it sounds like you have the medical stuff well underway.

The waiting is hard. I found it easier to break down into steps. The next appointment, next treatment, next test results etc. There comes a point where you've done all the admin and side issues, and you just have to wait for the next step. My next step is my checkup in December, and no matter how many times I rub my neck and do test swallows there's nothing I can do before then. Yours is your PET results, then your surgery. If you think too far beyond that it will do your head in. Take it one step at a time.

Googling is very good for helping you understand what the doctor has told you, and I found it helpful in framing my questions for the doctor next time I saw him. You only have a limited window to discuss things directly with the doctor, and there's a lot of information to process. I see you've Googled OC survival rates, which is extremely common and I did exactly the same thing. The problem is you're actually asking Google the wrong question. You don't care that xyz number die from OC, or even the odds. The question you want the answer to is "is this going to kill ME?" Thats the real question. Of course even the mighty Google doesn't know the answer to that one. But it is a useful tool for getting your head around medical terms.

Keep posting your progress, you'll be surprised to find that most things someone here has experienced already, including weird things that aren't on your radar right now. Its a tough road, but you're not alone.