Jennie,

I had a lot of pain too immediately following the PEG insertion but the good news about this pain is it decreases quickly. For me, anything that involved any stomach miscle at all was agony for the first 12 hours, the next day was better (I could at least stand up wihtout being in agony), then there were a few days where it hurt to laugh or cough but I was lots better, a week later there was hardly any pain at all. My tongue surgery (which sounds similar to Erik's)and neck dissection was also surgery I healed from relatively quickly. Give it a few more days (and be sure he keeps up on the pain meds) and he'll be much better.

One practical suggestion about the people trying to visit his room (or even call). Make a phone list and/or email list of the people who are closest to him and will want to know how he's doing or to visit and then delegate one person in that group (not you--you have enough on your plate) to call or email the rest of those folks with updates about his health *including* whether visits are a good idea at the moment.

If you do this, its also a good idea to make clear to everyone in the group that you are doing this not because he and you don't want direct contact with them but because calls and visits can be overhwleming when someone is sick (I realized this when my brother was talking about having "been put on some sort of B list" with a friend fighting cancer--because he was getting updates from a friend of the friend isntead of the friend herself. I suggested to him that maybe *everyone* was on that "B list" right now simply so she wouldn't be overwhelmed and saw the lightbulb go on).

Hang in there Jennie. There are parts of this that do seem nightmarish--but the good news is that lots of us have been through that same nightmare and are holding you in our thoughts and here to give you and Erik support.

Nelie