Hi Jennie -

I am glad to hear your husband has come through surgery ok. I agree with Gary on the recovery side of things. Surgery & recovery was easy compared to chemo/radiation treatments. My husband, Kenny had many complications - but he finally made it through his last treatment in Sept 05. You are now in the toughest job you have probably ever had (and that counts child birth!). Here are few helpful tid-bits I have learned during the past few months:

1. "Faith is a powerful sword" - hang on to that faith. Here's the tough part ... you will learn that the "sword of Faith" can get very heavy after months of treatments -- rely on your family and friends to help you hang on to that.

2. My husband's dad & sister wanted to 'do something' to make Kenny better. They took over for me so I could escape to a movie or even go out of town (for work & pleasure). So - put a lid on the guilty feelings of 'I can't go out, because it's not fair that he can't go out'. You'll need your sanity to get through this.

3. Your pharamist is your friend. You asked about the medications. Tell your pharamist that your husband has tongue cancer and needs all medications to be liquid. Our pharamist knew this and if a doctor called in something, she knew immidiately to confirm an alternative drug was ok if the original one did not come in a liquid. You can also crush some pills, but not others. Ask.

3. You'll become very familiar with many medications before this all over. So ..keep an updated list with you at all times.

4. A cool mist vaporizor for the bedroom helped a little during the worst of Kenny's treatments. Just a little more humidy in the room helped him sleep a bit better.

5. Insist on anyone wanting to visit that they call before 'stopping' by. It did not take our family and friends long to learn that if it was a 'bad day' they did not need to visit. And there were weeks of 'bad days' during the end of radiation and just afterward.

6. Your health and his. It took me months to finally get Kenny to try anti-depressants during his treatments. Depression is a side-affect of many of the treatments. Don't ignore this. Also - make sure you take care of your mental health as well.

7. Take care of today only. Don't worry about tomorrow -- just do what you can today.

Keep visiting here to get support. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.

Carol