Katy,

Stay positive and push hard to keep in play the option of being treated with radiation and chemo rather than the surgery.
Treating cancer is a lot about a balance between killing the cancer and quality of life. You are so young that QOL issues are likely given more weight but you just need to be 100% all the options have been laid out and you are comfortable with the road ahead.

Best wishes
don

Don
Male, 1955
Great health except C
Dec '12
DX: BOT SCC T2N2bMx, Stage 4a, HPV+, multiple nodes
1 tooth out
Jan '13
2nd tooth out
Tumor Board -induction TPF (3 cycles), seq CRT
4-6/2013
CRT 70gr 2x35, weekly carbo150
ended 5/29,6/4