Welcome Katy,

You have found an excellent place to get first hand information and tips on getting through the entire cancer experience. Make sure you pin this site, visit often, research a lot, be proactive and stay ahead of what the plan.

You are young which is great in terms of having a strong body to recover well and also have fewer conditions that constrain the treatment options.

Having very young kids has much greater impact on your treatment experience. Obviously, as a mother you are going to worry endlessly about their well being and care while you go through treatments. Beside your husband, reach out now and build a support network as fast as you can. Just the daily routine of the radiation treatments becomes a daily grind. With the kids so young, you need to have someone care for your kids for at least that portion of the day.

The range of side effects from radiation is great and there really are no reliable criteria to establish beforehand how you will fare. That said, plan for the worst, hope for the best. Again, this means having a solid support system in place to help with the kids. Hopefully, you will be fine and skirt most side effects as some. But you may increasingly suffer side effects that limit your own capabilities.

Eating and drinking fluids are going to be issues. You will lose weight since you can not eat easily and do not want to eat easily. Who wants to cook for the kids and family when you feel like crap. Start thinking about where you can get support at meal times too. Depending on your husband's availability he may be able to be the full time caretaker. Still, there will be times he needs to take care of other things too.

You did not make mention of medical oncology for any chemo treatment. If you are being advised only to get radiation I would strongly seek second opinions and recommendations about hitting the cancer hard this time. Most receive a combination of chemo and radiation treatment. You can read up the standard of care for your case as published by the NCCI.

Second opinions in general are recommended. At the very minimum you want your case presented at tumor board where many other doctors can review and weigh in on your specific case. That team offers their perspective and recommendation and options. Having a different team review and recommend gives you a better understanding of your case and the amount of variability of opinion there may be. Usually recommendations are consistent but you would feel better and sleep better knowing your treatment plan has been endorsed by a broader community of experts.

You did not mention HPV status. Clearly, it is become evident that oral cancers with HPV+ markers have great prognosis. Please fill out the signature line so we can help you better with those facts.

One last thought - my own view on fighting cancer. KILL it with all you got. I understand recommended therapies consider age of patient and long term side effects so that probably factored into the decision to do only surgery last time. This time due to recurrence you have to go full guns and ask for aggressive treatment. Certainly, you do not want lingering side effects but that only matters if they KILL the cancer. Chemo does kill the small cells that are not visible. Ask if that is an option and if not why. Seek that second opinion. You want to all out this time. Again, my personal view.

With some planning and smart moves, you will do fine.

Best to you,
Don